Transcendence
by HarryTwilightMaxRidefan
Summary: I was told that this would be impossible. I didn't want to believe it, but the evidence was overwhelming. In the animal kingdom, hybrids can't conceive. Although I'm not an animal, I've done enough research to know that it would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, for me to become pregnant. "Secrets" updated.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

I was told that this couldn't happen. I didn't want to believe it, but the facts were hard, and I did my research well. In the animal kingdom, it is very rare for a cross-species to conceive. The hybrid can't reproduce because its parents each have a different number of chromosomes, which causes the hybrid's sex cells to develop incorrectly, and never fertilize properly. And although I am not an animal, my grandfather and I have done enough research to come to the conclusion that it would be extremely difficult and near impossible for me to become pregnant.

The pregnancy test in my bathroom sink said otherwise.

I didn't know whether to be excited or distressed. I was stunned to say the least.

I tried not to think about it. I was too close to Daddy's range to keep my thoughts to myself. I stuffed the test inside its box, then stuffed the box inside of my purse. I left the house in a hurry, watching my thoughts carefully. I got in my car, and drove away in a hurry, only stopping when I was a safe distance from my father's range.

I pulled over to the side of the road, and pulled the test from my purse, examining it in more detail.

_Can this be real? _I thought. _How is this possible? _

I put the test down, and reached for my phone, dialing Carlisle's office number. He picked up after the third ring.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen,"

"Hey," I said, my voice shaking slightly, "it's Nessie."

"Renesmee," He said, a hunt of concern tracing his voice, "is anything the matter?"

"Everything's fine…" I replied hesitantly. "Well," I sighed, "Not really. I don't know." I glanced at the pregnancy test in the passenger seat.

"I need to talk to you. Sooner rather than later."

"I'm free now." He stated. "Come by my office and we can discuss what's 'not fine'."

"Great. I'll be there in five." I ended the call, and quickly dialed Jake's cell. It was a few rings before he picked up.

"Hey, beautiful," he answered. I could hear the smile in his voice. I wondered how long that would last.

"Hey," I murmured, beginning to pick at the hem of my skirt.

"What's wrong?" Jake's tone changed dramatically.

"Nothing," I stated defensively, "it's just…" I exhaled heavily, running a hand through my hair.

"_Fuck" _I rested my head against the steering wheel, closing my eyes. I could feel tears sting the back of my eyes.

"Nessie?" Jake spoke up, his tone growing alarmed.

"Meet me at the hospital. I'll explain there."

I ended the call, and started my car, getting back on the road. I arrived at the hospital within a few minutes, and found a spot next to Jake's Rabbit. He was leaning against his car, waiting for me. I got out of my car, making sure I had the test with me. Jake gave me a kiss when I walked up to him.

"What's wrong?" His hands cupped my face gently, his thumbs caressing my cheeks.

"I'm not sure," I whispered, looking down. I moved his hands away from my face, and pulled the test out of my purse, twirling it between my fingers.

"I didn't think this was possible." I looked back up at Jake, and handed him the test.

"I think I might be pregnant."

Jacob's mouth twitched. "Are…are you sure?" He looked from the test to me. "Can human tests even work with you?"

"I'm half human," I replied. "And regardless, pregnancy hormones should be the same across the board."

"Have you talked to Carlisle?"

"Why do you think we're here?"

"Right," Jacob nodded, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, shall we go in?" Jacob extended his hand, and I took it.

We walked hand-in-hand into the hospital, and into Carlisle's office. He was sitting at his desk, going through some paperwork. He nodded towards the two chairs opposite him, beginning to file away the paperwork.

"Renesmee," he started, as Jake and I had taken a seat. "I believe that we all know why you've come in to see me." He folded his hands and looked between Jake and myself.

I handed him the pregnancy test. "This is impossible,"

Carlisle took the test, and pulled out a file. "Not necessarily." He stated.

"But, the research we've done…"

"Has been on animals," Carlisle supplied, interrupting my thought. "We're not dealing with animals, Renesmee. All of the studies we've researched have given us a hypothesis, but because you and Jacob have never tried to become pregnant, we haven't been able to test the hypothesis. Until now, that is." He looked between the two of us, closing the file.

"Although something tells me that this wasn't planned."

"I didn't think I could get pregnant!" My voice cracked, as I tried not to yell. I felt Jacob's hand on my knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. I put my hand over his, and smiled softly.

"I didn't think this was possible," I whispered.

"Anything's possible," Carlisle said with a smirk. "Now, I would like to run a few tests, to see where you're at with this pregnancy." He stood up, and walked towards the door.

Jacob and I followed. Carlisle led us to a private room in the gynecology department. I sat on the hard bed, Jacob to my right, and Carlisle to my left. I lifted my shirt, and laid against the back of the bed. I held Jacob's fiery hand as Carlisle's cold ones fluttered around the flat plane of my stomach.

He pulled out a tape measure, and placed it underneath by breasts, measuring to my pubic bone.

"Do you know about the time you conceived?" Carlisle asked, putting away the tape measure. He began fiddling with the ultrasound machine, turning it on.

"About three weeks ago?" I guessed. I looked over at Jake, and thought about when we had gone to the beach, and stayed past dark. He nodded, and swallowed.

"Yeah, three weeks sounds about right."

Carlisle nodded. "I would say that you're presenting at about three times that. I want to say that you're about nine weeks, but I want to see if I can confirm that with a sonogram."

Carlisle put a cool gel over my lower abdomen, and placed the transducer over the gel, running it over my abdomen a few times. The screen was distorted for a few minutes, but then cleared up. A distinct, black and white image of an embryo the size of a grape came on the screen.

"Oh, my God," I brought my hand to my mouth, Tears stung the back of my eyes.

I looked over at Jake. "We're going to have a baby," My voice chocked. I looked back at the screen, and smiled softly. My hand goes to my chest. "We're going to have a baby."

Carlisle turned off the machine and handed me a towel to wipe the gel off my abdomen.

"I'm assuming no one else knows," Carlisle stated, drying his hands on a paper towel.

I shook my head as I pulled my shirt down. "It's why I came here. I…I don't know how Daddy would react if he knew about…us." I had been careful the last few weeks with my thoughts, making sure to avoid anything having to do with sex. It'd been hard, but I had been able to circumvent his mind reading.

"He's not going to be too happy when he finds out," I murmured, looking down at my lap.

"Well, the longer you put this off, the harder it's going to get." Carlisle stated.

I nodded. "I know. I'll tell him tonight."

Jacob took my hand in his. "We'll tell him together."

Carlisle smiled. "Alright. We'll discuss this pregnancy more in depth at a later time." He opened the door to the private room and led us out.

"I'm on call tonight, so I won't be back until tomorrow or so. If you need anything, page me."

I waved, and left the building with Jacob. His arm was around my waist, his hand over my stomach. I rested my head on his shoulder, my arms crossed underneath my breasts.

"I love you so much," Jacob kissed the crown of my head, his lips lingering for a few moments.

"I love you, too." I nuzzled my head in the crook of his neck, resting in his woodsy smell. I closed my eyes, and breathed contently.

"I didn't think this was possible."

I smirked. "No one did."

Jacob stopped, and kneeled in front of me. He placed his hands over my lower abdomen and kissed the area just below my bellybutton.

"I love you so much," he said. "You're only the size of a grape, but your mommy and I love you so much already—more than you'll ever know."

I laughed, threading my fingers through his thick, cropped hair. "He can't hear you. Not yet."

Jacob kissed my stomach again, creating a trail of kisses that led to my mouth. I kissed him back, tangling my fingers in his hair.

"We're going to be parents," he laughed, pulling away from the kiss. "We're going to have a baby."

"I think that's been made quite clear," I smiled, brushing his hair from his forehead. "Although I'm pleased that you're happy about this, I don't think that's going to be everyone's reaction."

"Eddie's going to have to suck it up," Jacob smirked. "He knew what was coming."

"After we were married, sure." I replied. "But we're not. And we've only been dating for a few months. You know how Daddy is."

"Well, I don't care what he thinks anymore. You're not a little girl anymore, Nessie, and he's got to realize that sooner rather than later. The only people's thoughts that matter to me are yours," he gave me a small kiss, "and his." He kneeled in front of me again, and kissed my stomach.

He stood up, and we continued walking out into the parking lot. We stopped in front of where we were parked, and he kissed me again.

"I'll come by later. We'll talk to them together."

"Okay."

He kissed my forehead, got in his car, and drove away. I got in my car, but I didn't start it right away. I sat in the driver's seat, thinking of how I was going to tell Daddy. I rested my hands over my lower abdomen, and sighed heavily. I sat in contemplative silence for a few more minutes before finally starting my car and heading home. I had texted Mom, making sure that she had her shield around me, so Daddy wouldn't pick through my head.

I head towards the main house, and find Esme in the kitchen.

"Hello, dear," she smiled, and placed a cup of tea on the island in front of me. I sat down, grasping the cup in my hands.

"Thanks," I smiled. "Where is everyone?"

"Hunting. Did you want anything to eat?" Esme walked into the pantry, sorting through the boxes of food that she stocked that no one ate.

"No, thanks." I took a sip of my tea.

"Here," Esme set down a small bowl of walnuts in front of me. "Eat these. It's good for the baby."

I choked on my tea. "What?" I coughed.

"Renesmee, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about." Esme said sternly. "You're pregnant."

"How…?"

"Sweetheart, it's fairly obvious. You've been putting your hands over your lower abdomen, you've been eating more, you're body's become fuller, and, sweetie, you're wearing eau de hCG. You can't hide pregnancy from vampires that easily."

I could feel my heart stop, as my stomach clenched. "Everyone knows?"

Esme nodded slowly. "You can't keep secrets like this from us. We've been waiting for you to figure it out on your own. A few certain family members have been having a hard time waiting." Esme smiled lightly, and leaned over the island, placing her hands over mine.

"Is Daddy…" I started. "Is he disappointed in me?"

Esme frowned. "You know that your father loves you very much," she stated, "and nothing that you do would ever make him feel any different."

"But is he _disappointed_?" I repeated.

Esme sighed. "You have to realize what time he's from, Renesmee, and how he was raised."

I lowered my head. "I thought so." I whispered.

"He's in his office." Esme replied. "You should talk to him." She straightened, taking the tea cup and bowl of walnuts.

There was a knock at the door. Jacob was here. I pushed myself from the chair and answered the door.

"They know." I stated, feeling tears prick the back of my eyes. "I should have known that they'd figure it out before me." I walked away from the door, and heard the door shut behind me. I sat on the couch and buried my face in my hands.

I felt the couch shift, and Jacob's arm around my shoulder. "I'm sorry,"

I ran my hands down my face and shook my head. "It's fine. I should have known. I just…" I thought for a moment.

"I don't know." I looked over at Jake. "Dad's disappointed." I murmured.

"You talked to him?"

"Not yet. I was going to go upstairs to talk to him when you got here."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Thanks," I smiled lightly, pushing myself from the couch. I took Jake's hand as he stood, and he gave me a quick kiss.

"You are so beautiful," he murmured, brushing a piece of hair out of my face.

"I love you," I rested my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

Jacob kissed the crown of my head, and pulled away, holding my hand in his.

"Let's go talk to Edward,"

We walked upstairs, and walked into Daddy's open office. Daddy turned from his bookshelf, and smiled towards us.

"Renesmee, Jacob," He nodded. "It seems as if there's some news you'd like to share."

"Yeah," I smiled nervously, wrapping my arms around myself. "I'm, uh, pregnant."

Daddy sighed heavily, crossing his arms.

"You've talked with your grandfather?" Daddy asked.

I nodded, looking back up at him. "A little bit. He didn't have much time."

Daddy nodded, and went to go sit in the chair behind his desk. He motioned for Jacob and I to do the same.

"I'm not mad at either of you," Daddy started. "As Bella keeps reminding me, it's not 1918 anymore." A small, somewhat nervous laugh escaped my lips. I felt Jacob's hand cup my knee, squeezing it gently.

"I'm worried about your health, Renesmee." He said plainly. "We don't have anything to look to other than your mother's pregnancy."

"Do…do you think this could be like Bella's?" Jacob spoke, worry etching his tone.

Daddy exhaled slowly. "We can't be for sure. We'd have to wait until Carlisle is able to go over this more extensively.

I nodded slowly. "Where's Mom? I need to talk to her."

"At the cottage," Daddy replied, standing up.

I stood as well, and felt Daddy's cold lips on my head. "I love you," he said softly, "and I'm very happy for you."

"Thanks, Daddy." I murmured in his chest. I left the hug, and took Jacob's hand, walking out of the office.

The hardest part was over. But I needed to find out what Daddy really thought before I felt secure in his answer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"I want to talk to my mother alone," I stated, as Jacob and I left the main house.

"I know that Daddy wasn't telling me the complete truth, and the only person I'm going to get it out of is Mom."

"Alright," Jacob nodded.

We stopped by a tree that was somewhat equidistant from the main house and the cottage. I leaned against it, putting one of my feet on the trunk. Jacob stood in front of me, holding my hands loosely. I let my fingers fall through his.

"What's going to happen…" I started, trying to configure my jumbled thoughts. "What's going to happen if this ends up like Mom's?" I looked down, blinking back tears.

"Don't think like that," Jacob said. "Let's wait to see what Carlisle says." Jacob let go of my hands, and lifted my chin. He leaned in slowly, pressing his lips against mine.

"You're not your mother," he whispered. "It won't be the same as hers."

"But…"

"Renesmee, if there was any concern, Carlisle would have told us."

"You sound like you're trying to reassure yourself," I commented. "You're thinking it, too."

Jacob sighed heavily, and let go of my chin, crossing his arms. "Nessie, it's going to work out. It won't be like Bella's. We're going to be _parents, _Ness." He uncrossed his arms, and enveloped me in a hug. I closed my eyes, and nuzzled into his chest.

"We're going to have a _baby, _Nessie." Jacob repeated. "This is a _miracle. _Be happy." He pressed his lips on my crown.

"I_ am_ happy," I sniffed. "But I'm also confused and scared. I wasn't expecting this, and it feels like everyone knew it before I did, and I'm kind of pissed that I didn't get this _one _thing to myself, even for a little bit. Sometimes, Jacob…" I pushed myself away from him, and walked a few feet out. I could feel hot tears sting the back of my eyes.

"Sometimes, I just wish that I had a normal family; one that can't read minds, or see the future, or control moods, or be able to smell the _fucking _pregnancy hormones that I'm apparently secreting a fair amount of, or be able to notice the subtle changes that my body's been through…" I felt blood rush to my cheeks, my heart pounding. My hands were balled into tight fists. I hadn't realized how angry I had become. I loosened my grip, and turned to Jacob, trying to even my breaths.

"I'm sorry," I startled laugh escaped my lips. I felt more tears run down my cheeks. Jacob wrapped his arms tight around me. I cried into his chest. I felt his hands stroking my hair and rubbing my back.

"Ssshh…" he murmured. "It's alright, Baby Girl." He kissed the top of my head. "I know."

I laughed. "Look at me, I'm an emotional mess." I lifted my head and looked up at Jacob.

"You're fine," Jacob smiled, wiping away tears with his thumbs. He gave me a small kiss. "This is normal, and it's going to get better. Just remember that in a few months we're going to have a beautiful baby who looks exactly like her mother."

"How are you so sure that he's a she?" I smiled softly.

"How are you sure that she's a he?" Jacob replied, smirking.

"I've always wanted a son," I smiled, placing my hand on Jacob's cheek. "One that looks exactly like his father,"

I imagined children of mixed ages, perfect replicas of Jacob and Daddy. Jacob smiled, taking my hand from his cheek. He kissed my hand, and placed it over my lower abdomen.

"No matter if the baby is a boy or a girl, she will be beautiful. This baby is the luckiest child on earth, because he has us for family."

I smiled. "I really need to go talk to Mom. And I think Billy would like to know what's going on as well."

Jacob laughed nervously. "Yeah. I left home pretty fast—I'm sure Billy's wondering what happened."

"I'll see you later?" I asked, beginning to head towards the cottage.

"Did you want to go out tonight?"

I stopped. "Sure. You choose. I don't…" Suddenly, there was a sharp pain radiating from my lower abdomen, interrupting my train of thought.

I cried out in pain, my hand clenching the area the pain was coming from. I leaned against a tree with my other hand, and bent over, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Nessie?" Jacob called. "Renesmee, are you alright?"

I heard him rush to my side, and felt his arms around me. "Nessie, what's happening?" Fear traced his voice.

I shook my head, swallowing hard. "I don't know…it hurts." I whimpered in pain, and sank lower to the ground.

"This really fucking hurts," I moaned. Tears stung my eyes.

I heard a rush of wind, and followed by my father's voice.

"Renesmee?" He spoke. "Nessie, I need you to tell me what's hurting you."

"Abdomen," I gasped. "Sharp, almost stabbing."

"I smell blood," I heard Mom's voice next. "What's going on?"

"She's having a miscarriage," Daddy said quietly. "We need to get her inside."

Jacob lifted me bridal style, and I curled into his body. He carried me to the cottage, with Mom and Dad following behind. Jacob carried me to my room, and gently set me on the bed. He got into the bed next to me, spooning me. He kissed the space behind my ear, resting his lips there.

"I knew it was too good to believe,"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_Jacob_

The last three days passed in a blur.

We lost a baby. A baby we didn't even think we could have. It was surreal that she had even been pregnant. The news was just beginning to sink in. And now…now it was over. I had always wanted to have a child. I had been so excited to learn that I was going to be a father. To have a daughter or son running around the house, screaming and laughing; teaching them to fish, hunt, and carve wood like my father had taught me. But now, that future we would have had has been taken from us right under our feet, knocking Nessie and I straight to the ground.

"She's not coming out," Bella sighed, bringing me out of my thoughts. "I've tried everything."

We've all tried everything. She hadn't budged. She'd been in her room since the miscarriage.

"Give her some time, love." Edward wrapped his arms around Bella and gave her a small kiss. "She'll come around."

Bella sighed. "I don't like seeing her this way."

"I know, love," Edward murmured.

"There has to be something we can do," I said. I stood from the couch "She can't stay in there forever,"

"Just let this run its course, Jacob." Edward said. "She'll come around when she's ready."

I stood for a moment, silent, thinking. Soon, an idea crossed my mind. I grabbed my jacket off the couch, and left the cottage quickly, not verbalizing my plan. I drove off the Cullen Compound, and headed towards Port Angeles. There's a video store there that sells classic horror films from the 1930's on. They have all of Nessie's favorites—_The Birds, Psycho, Dawn of the Dead, Dracula, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Silence of the Lambs, Salem's Lot, _and many, many more. I ended up getting _Silence of the Lambs_, along with some M&Ms and popcorn.

When I got back to the cottage, both Edward and Bella were gone, leaving the house to myself and Renesmee. I popped the popcorn, and mixed the chocolate candies with it. I went to her door, and knocked on it lightly.

Renesmee answered, opening the door so I could only see her face. "What do you want?"

"I thought you'd like to have that date we planned," I lifted the DVD and bowl of popcorn.

"I'm not in the mood," Nessie turned, beginning to shut the door. I put my foot in the door.

"You're sure?" l prompted. "It's your favorite. I also have an all meat pizza being delivered—your favorite."

"Jacob, I'm really not in the mood."

"Fine. If you want to join me later, I'll be in the living room."

She nodded, and I moved my foot so she could shut the door. I went into the living room, and started the movie. About halfway through it, after the pizza had arrived, Nessie crept from out of her room. She was wearing yoga pants and an old tank-top, with a light robe over top. She silently sat down next to me, and focused on the screen.

"Do you want any?" I motioned towards the food on the coffee table.

"No…" she murmured, shaking her head. She kept her eyes focused on the movie, as Hannibal began tearing the face off of the officer in his cell.

"How could they be so stupid?" Nessie questioned. "They have the most criminally insane, cannibalistic man on the planet, but they leave him in a partially open cage-like cell, and only handcuff him when they give him his meals. Obviously, he can easily get out of the handcuffs and attack them." She turned to me.

I nodded in agreement. "Well, that's the American police for you,"

She smiled briefly, and turned back to the movie. By its end, she was crying silently.

"I want to watch it again," She said calmly through her tears.

"Of course." I grabbed the remote, and pressed 'play' when the menu popped up again. The opening music played softly in the background as Clarice Starling ran through the woods.

"Jake?" Nessie looked at me and grabbed my hand. She showed me an image of a baby.

_I wanted that baby more than I've wanted anything. _Her thoughts mix with mine.

_And now…he's gone. _The child disappeared in a rush of red smoke.

"We could always try again," I offered. "Whenever you're up to it, we can try again."

Nessie shook her head. "That pregnancy was a fluke," she held. "It wasn't supposed to happen in the first place. How can you tell that it won't end in another miscarriage?"

I was silent.

She sighed. "I don't know…" she trailed off. "I wanted _him. He _was my baby. But now…" she shook her head.

"Now he's gone."

I turned my body towards hers. "I wanted him to," I cupped my hand over her cheek, wiping away a stray tear with my thumb.

"I meant what I said about trying again," I stated. "As soon as you're ready, we can try again. If we can get pregnant once, I'm sure it can happen again.

"Oh, Jake…" Renesmee sniffed. "Thank you."

"Anything for you," I kissed her softly, and lingered for a few moments.

"I love you," I murmured, my forehead touching hers.

"I love you, too." She replied quietly.

"How about we go somewhere tonight, just the two of us?" I offered, pulling my face away from hers.

"You should get out, just for a little bit."

"It'd be a nice change," she agreed.

"I have a standing reservation in Seattle tonight, and two tickets to _The Rocky Horror Picture Show _tonight at the Paramount."

"Even though you knew there was a chance I wouldn't want to go?" Nessie smirked.

"I'm a betting man," I smiled. "But I knew you couldn't resist your favorite show."

Nessie was silent.

"Would you like to go out with me tonight?" I asked again, as if I were asking her on a first date.

She remained silent, biting her lips with her delicate eyebrows knitted together in thought.

"Ness?" I questioned after a few minutes.

"I'm going to take a shower," she stated slowly, looking back up at me.

"Pick me up in an hour?"

I lifted my eyebrows, my whole face nearly lighting into a smile. "See you in an hour, beautiful." I kissed her forehead, slid off the couch, and left the cottage, shutting the door softly on my way out.

"I love you, Jacob." I heard her whisper from inside the cottage. I smiled brightly to myself as I stood on the front porch.

"Love you more," I found myself saying, putting my hands in my pockets. I stepped off the porch, and began walking back to my car.

I found it hard not to smile as I drove home. Nessie acting happier made me want to jump to the moon and back. But there was always the dragging thought of my unborn child that made my smile falter. Always.

xXx

_Renesmee_

Three weeks passed since the miscarriage. I'm still not what I would call 'healed'. I still felt an emanating emptiness inside of me that used to be a baby.

Carlisle told me that he should have realized sooner that the embryo wasn't going to live much past our meeting—that a heartbeat hadn't shown up on the sonogram. He apologized profusely for not noticing it sooner. He also said that the miscarriage resulted from a compilation of things—one of them being our theory about my ability to conceive and carry a child to full term. He told me that Jacob and I could always keep trying, if we wanted to.

If I were still pregnant, I'd be six weeks along—eighteen weeks for a human, according to Carlisle. He'd have fingers and toes, nails, and a beating heart that we could hear with a stethoscope. He would be able to move inside of me. He'd have eyelids. If my body allowed, we'd be able to tell the sex, and decide on a name. The nursery would have been in the process of being built, with parts for a crib, dresser, and changing table around the room, as it was in the process of being painted. I would have been halfway through with my pregnancy.

But that experience was taken away from me…from _us,_ abruptly. The pain from that day still lingers in my chest, and it hurts worse whenever I think of trying again.

After the miscarriage, I had talked to Mom about what Daddy really thought about Jacob and I having a child before marriage.

"_Hey," I smiled, walking into the living room where Mom was reading. "Can I talk to you?"_

"_Of course," Mom smiled, and put her book down. "What is it?"_

"_Can you put your shield up?" Daddy was hunting, so he couldn't hear us, but I couldn't tell if he was in range_

_Mom furrowed her eyebrows, but did as I asked. "There," she said, "what do you need to talk to me about?"_

"_Was…was Daddy mad that Jacob and I were going to have a baby without being married?" _

_Mom sighed heavily. "Well, sweetheart, the pregnancy was so unexpected that he wasn't mad at you two for that. All he wants is for your safety and happiness." _

"Mom_." That hadn't been my question. _

_She hesitated. "He'd never tell you this himself, so both of you need to watch your thoughts around him. But, yes, I think he would be hurt if it were to happen." _

_I nodded. I figured that would have been her answer. "Thanks, Mom." _

"_Anytime, sweetheart." She pressed her icy lips against my forehead. "I love you." _

"_Love you too, Mom." I smiled. _

After the conversation with Mom, I decided to wait to try again until Jacob and I were married. I couldn't live with myself if I disappointed Daddy like that.

"Ness?" Jacob interrupted my thoughts. "Nessie, what are you thinking about?"

"Hmm?" I looked from my book.

"You've been staring at the same page for twenty minutes, Ness." He smiled. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing," I smiled lightly, beginning to play with Jake's fingers.

"Nothing?" He raised his eyebrows, and smiled coyly.

"Oh, stop," I laughed, as Jake began kissing my neck. "I'm really not in the mood."

"You alright?"

I choked on a laugh. "No." My smile faltered, and a fat tear dripped down my face.

"Well, then I'm going to have to fix that," Jacob stood from the couch. I heard a click on the Xbox, and music following.

_I must have been through about a million girls. I'd love 'em then I'd leave 'em alone. I didn't care how much they cried, no sir. Their tears left me cold as stone. _

_But then I fooled around and fell in love…_

"Come with me," He stood me from the couch, flashing a white smile, as he dragged me to the middle of the living room.

"Jake, I don't…"

"Ness," Jake wrapped an arm around my waist, and lifted my chin with his other hand.

"Shut up." He gave me a chaste kiss, and placed his hand on my hip while in the kiss. I slowly closed my eyes, allowing myself to melt into him.

_It used to be when I'd see a girl that I liked, I'd get out my book and write down her name. But when the grass got a little greener on the other side, I'd just tear out that page. _

_But then I fooled around and fell in love. I fooled around and fell in love. Since I met you baby, I fooled around and fell in love. I fooled around and fell in love _

I left the kiss, and buried my head in the hollow space between his neck and shoulder, and cried.

Jacob rested his chin on my head, rubbing the small of my back.

"It's okay," he said quietly. "Everything's going to be alright."

I bit my lip, nodding. I was beginning to believe that he was right.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Months passed, and things slowly got back to normal. I started playing video games with Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper, cracking jokes with them, baking with Esme, going shopping with Aunt Alice and Aunt Rose, spending time with Jacob, and of course, playing the piano with Daddy. Over the years I had grown so much in my piano talent that I jumped from instrument to instrument—I could almost play as the entirety of the London Symphonic Orchestra. Still, my old favorite would be sitting on that piano bench, softly keying the notes for Beethoven's 5th.

Things started to look up, although my smile would falter when I thought about my unborn child. Jacob always told me that we could try again when I was ready, but I didn't want to go through another miscarriage. If this first pregnancy ended in bloodshed, who's to say that others won't follow suit? I was afraid to try again. I didn't want to go through that type of pain again.

xXx

In October, Jacob and the pack always had a bonfire down at First Beach. For as long as I can remember, the Fall Bonfire had always been my favorite. It was almost like Christmas—our families were together, sitting around the bonfire, eating, laughing, and just having a good time. I always got to spend time with Jacob, and his lap was always my favorite spot around the fire. He'd always try to get me to eat S'mores, although I never grew to their sugary taste.

As I grew older, I got to help participate in activities more. I helped Emily with the food, Embry with the fire pit, and kept an eye on the younger generation that were slowly coming in. Although I still didn't like the taste of S'mores, I indulged Jacob and made a few. The yearly bonfire was something that I looked forward to every year.

"Oh, man," Emily groaned, setting down her load of food. I carefully placed mine next to hers, careful not to let anything drop. To Jacob and Daddy's amusement, I had inherited some of my mother's human clumsiness.

"It's not easy keeping these boys feed," Emily huffed. I laughed.

"Definitely," I agreed.

"It's nice that you've grown up, now." Emily smirked. "Now I'm not the only one who has to keep them all fed!"

I rolled my eyes, snickering a little. We went back to arranging the food, something I though was pointless since it was going to be destroyed in three minutes. We had pretty much anything you could cook over a fire, cakes, pies, and anything else the boys would eat. She kept an eye on her six-year old son, Kevin, who was attempting to make a sand castle. Soon, everyone arrived, bringing more food and children in tow. Rachel's five-year old daughter Elizabeth made a bee-line for Kevin, eager to help him with the sand castle. Her three-year old sister, Madeline, followed behind. A heavily pregnant Rachel waddled from behind, trying to keep up with her young children. Kim followed behind Rachel, with her 10-month old son Robbie on her hip.

Kim and Rachel began talking about the wonders and evils of pregnancy, cute Native American names, and sonograms. I turned my attention to Elizabeth, who was showing off the contents of her backpack to a curious Kevin.

I was suddenly very busy concentrating on cutting the brownies, which got increasingly harder to do as my vision grew blurry with tears that were threating to spill over. Emily lightly placed a hand over my arm, and looked at me with concern. I wondered how long she'd been watching me. She raised her eyebrows in concern. I knew that she knew about the miscarriage, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to speak out loud about my concerns.

I showed her images of Rachel's round belly, and the kids playing in the sand. I showed her my fear next; constant miscarriages, and an empty, quiet house. But after I knew the possibility was there, I didn't want that. I wanted sticky floors, and children screaming. Birthday parties, messes, and stuffed animals everywhere, little green army men, and endless love.

"Oh, sweetheart," Emily murmured. "I promise you that your dream will come true. Remember that your family never dreamed you were possible."

"In the animal kingdom…" I sniffed quietly. "Most can't…"

"Just three months ago that was proved wrong," Emily argued. "Just because you have one miscarriage doesn't mean you will always have miscarriages. It just means that that one didn't form right." Emily placed her hand underneath my chin, and lifted my head so I was looking her in the eye.

"I _promise _you that it will happen."

Elizabeth's wailing interrupted us as she chased Kevin, who had a baby doll in his hands that obviously did not belong to him. The two ran down the length of the beach.

"Of course," Emily rolled her eyes. "We'll talk later." She gave my shoulder a quick squeeze, and jogged after her son.

I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths to try to calm myself. I heard Jacob and his brothers coming closer, which helped. When they arrived, I noticed they were wearing shirts, which was a suspicious change. I wondered if it had anything to do with why Alice was so persistent in making sure she dressed me. I was wearing black skinny jeans with a black spaghetti strapped tank-top, and a long-sleeved white 'worn-in' sweater. Regardless of what they were wearing, seeing Jacob made everything seem right with the world.

"What's the occasion?" I shouted as they reached the edge.

"Is there a need for one?" Embry called back. "We can be classy if we want."

I laughed. "Sure. That explains why I'm always seeing you guys half-naked."

I rolled my eyes. I ran up to Jacob, impatient for him to reach me. His arms opened up, and I curled myself into him. He lifted me, and spun around before setting me back on the ground.

"How are you?" He asked, after giving me a chaste kiss.

"Better, now that you're here." I smiled.

"Good," Jacob laughed.

"So, what's the occasion?" I asked, as Jacob and I walked hand-in-hand to the clearing.

"No occasion," he insisted. "Alice just insisted that shirts might be a nice change."

I rolled my eyes again. "Whatever. Don't tell me. That's fine too."

"You just can't handle surprises, can you?" Jacob smirked.

"Coming from my family, it's pretty easy to understand why I don't like surprises."

Jacob nodded in agreement. "Alright. Fair."

"So are you going to tell me?"

"No." Jacob stated. "You'll find out soon enough."

I shook my head with a smirk. "Whatever. Let's just go join everyone before the food's all gone."

Jacob and I joined back with the larger group, and the bonfire followed suit. I hadn't been particularly hungry for human food, so I sat back as Jacob and everyone devoured it. Near the end of the night, after the food was gone and the Moms chased their marshmellowed children with wet cloths, Billy and Carlisle started telling Quileute and vampire legends. Sam joined in, as well as Paul and Daddy. As the fire began to die down, and the children began to fade, Jacob, too, stood and told one more legend. As he began, I felt the cool skin of my parents next to me, and found them at either side. I heard Jacob's heart accelerate, and was surprised to discover my own doing the same.

"This legend's still a bit of a mystery," Jacob started, "as we don't know what causes it to happen. We're not really sure why we imprint, but some of us are lucky enough to experience what it feels like." He paused, looking around the circle.

"What we do know is that imprinting is how we find our soul mate. It's the force that draws us to the person that we are going to be with for the rest of our lives. Forever," he looked straight at me. He began to sweat—no pun intended—like a dog.

"When you find her, your life becomes complete. Suddenly you don't know how you survived before. You didn't know something was missing until you meet her. You can't remember what your life was like before—other than the fact that it was empty. You don't know what life was about before. Ness, I may not be sure about what life was before I met you, but I'm sure that I don't want to find out what it's like to be without you."

Jake started slowly walking towards me, his hand in his pocket, digging for something. I think I knew what it was. Suddenly, I forgot how to breathe, as he got down on one knee and pulled a small box from his pocket.

"With your parents' blessing, Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I ask if you would take my hand in marriage. Renesmee, will you be my wife?"

My hand covered my mouth, trying to contain the sobs that wanted to escape. Tears streamed down my face as I looked down at him. He had flipped open the box to reveal a small, beautiful diamond ring that shone like the skin of my family.

"This…this is why you wore shirts, isn't it?" I blubbered, unsure of how to speak.

"Ness, you're killing me," he smiled, pleading. "I'll answer yours if you answer mine. Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will," I cried. "Yes, Jacob, I'll marry you." There was a chorus of joyful cheers and applause, as Jacob and I stood. With shaky hands, he slid the engagement ring on the ring finger of my left hand.

"Yes, this is why we wore shirts," he laughed.

"I love you," I sniffed.

"More than you'll ever know." Jacob replied.

When I managed to pull my attention away from Jacob, I saw the party that suddenly burst. Jacob's brothers were dancing around the fire, every human female crying. My parents, still sitting where I had left them, were sitting silently, holding each other. Although they couldn't cry, they looked like they were about to.

"Oh, Renesmee," In a motion so fast it would have frightened someone not used to it, my mother stood and enveloped me in a hug.

"Oh, my baby, I'm so happy for you," she tearlessly sobbed, stroking my hair. Daddy shook his head at Mom, looking like he was trying hard not to cry. She gave him a turn, and he held me tight.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered, "and I know that you and Jacob will be very happy together."

"Thanks, Daddy," I sniffed. I rested my head in the crook of his neck. Out of the corner of my eye I watched the celebration. Jacob's brothers, as well as Uncle Emmett, slapped Jacob on the back, congratulating him. The Moms danced with their children, who were unsure of the celebration, but were excited nonetheless.

I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Jacob and I were engaged, when Uncle Emmett grabbed hold of me and threw several feet in the air.

"Congrats, sweetie." He laughed, and kissed my cheek when I landed. Aunt Rose gestured to my left hand expectantly, and I proudly showed off my new ring.

"Very nice," she smiled. "We're all so happy for you, sweetheart."

Aunt Alice skipped over, dragging Uncle Jasper behind her. She began to make little inchoherable squeals of excitement.

"How long have you known?" I smirked

"As long as Jacob has," she replied. "You're letting me plan it, right?"

"Of course."

Aunt Alice squealed in delight. "Good, because I've been planning it since you were born."

I rolled my eyes. What else was I supposed to expect from her?

"I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning, missy." She demanded. "No sleeping in for you!"

Uncle Jasper began to drag her towards home, as she began muttering about wedding details. As everyone had their turn hugging me and giving their congrats, I noticed Mom and Jacob standing still with their arms wrapped around each other. In a whisper so quiet I don't think it was meant for anyone else to hear, Mom said to him,

"See? I knew this would happen. You have to trust me."


End file.
